New rules of GOLF
1. If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
2. The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
3. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot isactually the beginning of the next group of three.
4. When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to continue watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.
5. Any change works for a maximum of three holes and a minimum of not at all.
6. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
7. Never try to keep more than 30 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
8. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
9. If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
10. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
11. The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all your errors.
12 .If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
13. Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
14. Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
15. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
16. It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.
17. Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
18. Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
19. It's not a gimme if you're still away.
20. The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the centre of a very large tree.
21.There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way you meant to play it.
22. You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time.
23.Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
24. If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
25. To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his back swing by his handicap. Example: back swing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 300mph.
26. There are two things you can learn by stopping your back swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.
27. Hazards attract; fairways repel.
28. You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
29. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
30. If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker.
31. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
and my favorite .... 32. Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
|Stories (all true)
Below will be some golf stories and/or events going on in my world of golf.
Here is the link to a golf web site that is great for avid PGA fans. it has unbelievable content.
Also, our friend Scott Martin (PGA Caddy) is on assignment taking pictures for this web site and some of his pictures are starting to show up. Great job Scott!
In these links you will find my last game played and any other games worth mentioning. The stats in each score card belong to the guy with the lowest score of the round (hopefully me). When only my name appears on a score card, it is because I don't know the people in my foursome enough to ask How many putts?
I use Intelligolf software on (version 6.50) on my Sony Clié PDA and hot sync all games to my pc.
|19-04-04 - First
game of the year using my Golf Signature membership. Shot 91 same
score I shot one day later last year at the same course. This year it
cost me $20 instead of $60 because of the $400 paid to Golf Signature,
Check out their website,
Forget about Golf Signature. They changed all the rules for 2004 and
2005 looks worse than ever. Some people 's greed just never stops,
23-04-2003 Played Le Victorien on Thursday and Friday both days shot 81. Both days we had very high winds. Thursday from the west (prevailing) in 18 degree temperature. Friday from the east (unusual) with a starting temperature around 2 degrees. As an example of how wind affects your ball . 1st hole Thursday with the wind just past the 200 yard stick, Friday against the wind 40 yards short of the 250 stick.
I will hex myself with this statement: In my 12 lifetime rounds at Victorien, I have never bogeyed the par 5 11th. My average score is 4.5 (1 eagle, 4 birdies, 7 pars). Knowing that, yesterday I had to chip to within 2 feet to save par.
The other hole that treats me this nice is the par 15th at Quatre Domaines #2. In 11 rounds my average is 4.8 (2 birdies). There, I have jinxed them both. (see below)
The reason I know this is that my software figures it out in what they call a dream round. The best (and worst) score on every hole. Check out my dream round at Victorien.
The jinx is on. The next time I played #15 at 4 domaines I bogeyed it. Now all that is left is the 11th at Victorien. We'll see how long that remains.
30-05-2004 Mont-Tremblant Golf Weekend. 72 holes in 46 hours. Piedmont on Friday, Manitou Saturday am, Le Geant starting at 4:00 Saturday which we finished (8:45) and the finale at Gray Rocks La Belle. Great weekend. Shot 85 with a moose (10) on 6th hole. 12 putts on the back nine. More info later.
02-06-2004 The choke of the century. I can't really explain my late day game at Cardinal. I wasn't even going to play golf today, but since getting rained out at Victorien the day before, as I was driving home from work I decided to stop in at Cardinal to see if I could get off. At 4:10 from highway 13, I called to see if there an opening, they said there was room at 4:30 for 1. I got matched up with three young guys. I hit a perfect approach on 1 and birdied the first hole. I thought not bad for an unplanned golf game. Then I bogeyed 2 with a bad drive. I sand saved 3 with a 25 foot putt that dropped in from the side. I bogeyed 4 with 2 missed approaches. I birded 5 with a 8 foot putt. Par on 6 Birdie on 7 with a 18 foot side winder. Pared 9 by missing a 12 foot putt for a 34 (-1) front 9. Then went par par par par birdie par par bogey and TRIPLE bogey. Both drives on 17 and 18 were right and behind trees so I had to waste a shot. On 18, I guess I choked, because I missed my third shot and left my chip way short and 3 putted from 60 feet. On 16 I was looking at a 69 but went 4 over on my last 2 holes to shoot my personal best of 73 for the third time. I hope this is not my last good game of the year.
28-06-2004 I guess it wasn't. At the beginning of the year, my goal was to shoot par for 18 holes. Today I did one better and shot 1 under. Albeit it was from the white tees at Deux-Mantagnes Patriote course. This was my best game ever. My new goal is to shoot par on a course from the blue tees where I (and all single digit handicappers) should be playing.
20-09-2004 After a poor showing at the Sean Magill Memorial where we failed to defend our title by shooting -2, 7 strokes behind the leaders, I managed to win a tournament with Gary Nixon and John (Brother Love) Dobbs at St Andrews (Quebec). The three man Vegas where teams are randomly selected was Mike O'Neil's annual fall tournament. We shot a bogey-free minus 9 or 63 (31-32). The team playing with us came in a tie with 2 other groups for second place at minus 5. They eventually won on the 3rd extra hole. It was fitting as Jim Major had been robbed of a birdie on 18 when his ball went into to hole but somehow came back out and stayed on the lip. It was a great tournament, especially the $1200 first prize for the team.
Now only the Kessler tournament remains and my Thanksgiving tournament. The days are too short and the weekends are too busy.
Latest Score Card
Tartan Pub Spring 2004-05-23
Breaking 70 Le Manitou 2004-05-29
My Choking 73 2004-06-02
Lowest Score Ever 71 2004-06-28
Tartan Hot Dog 2004-07-20
Mike O'Neil Vegas 2004-09-19
Here's a link to a tournament I won in 2003. We had a -12 to win with -9 on the back nine.